Heaven's not a place you go when you die

12/11/06

2006-12-12T06:20:32Z

Last Thing I Heard Tonight

baby, I'm serious. like, never in my life have I felt like this. ever. you're my world. I know.
I know that for a fact.
I want to like, to touch you, hug you, kiss you, be with you, marry you, have your babies, make lots of money, support you, grow old with you.
I want you to be mine and only mine. ya know?

And
With Those Words
My Fate is Sealed

Maybe
Just Maybe
She'll Be Different
But
I'm Not Holding My Breath

11/23/06

2006-11-24T06:45:11Z

Gotta Love Being One of the Boys Again. .

11/12/06

2006-11-13T06:23:40Z

So Tongiht

I had a Conversation with a Close Friend

We Talked About Basically Everything and Anything You Could Think of

One Particular Subject Left me Kinda Jealous of Someone I Guess You Could Say

How a Guy Can be a Complete Dick to Anyone and Everyone hes ever encountered

Especially in his relationships

But

Even though he treats people and his girls the way he does

He still is always given the benefit of the doubt and countless chances

I guess im not jealous soo much as I am just wondering

How He Does It

As Well As

What the Fuck I'm Doing Wrong

When Pigs Fly

2006-10-24T04:24:34Z

Soo

Me And Eric

Are Friends Again. . .

carkrashlove @ 2006-10-22T08:13:00

2006-10-22T15:15:06Z

Need I Say More?

carkrashlove @ 2006-10-13T17:46:00

2006-10-14T01:01:19Z

So Good To Know I have Self Control

And

Don't Get Caught Up in the Moment . . .

not

Going on the 11th Hour

2006-10-11T06:50:19Z

Hes
Staring Out the Window
Watching Every Car Pass
Not Noticing A Single One
Hes
Lost in His Head
Somewhere Between
Childhood and Adulthood
Not Sure Which Way To Go
Stuck on Every Turn Hes Took and Bump in the Road
Yet
Hes Anxious to know What Life Has Still to Offer
Happiness
Sadness
Memories to Cherish
And Ones to Forget
New Reasons to Smile
New Reasons to Cry
New Faces to Greet
New Places to Be
But Hes Scared
He Doesn't Think Hes Ready
In Fact
He's Not
But
He Doesn't Have A Choice
He Has to Continue On
Doing the Best He can
Not Knowing Exactly Where Hes Headed
He Just Knows Hes Going There
And
Finding Every Silver Lining In Every Cloud Along The Way
To Keep that Often Taken for Granted Smile on His Face
All These Things Running Through His Head
While People Just look and Scold Saying
"That Boy Doesnt Think About His Future"
How Little do They Actually Know. . .

carkrashlove @ 2006-10-10T14:59:00

2006-10-10T22:22:22Z

Saturday

Im Going to SF

Not Sure How im getting there

who im going with

or

what to do once im there

I just know I am

1009

2006-10-10T01:55:45Z

I Hate Getting Myself Into Situations

I Dont Want to be in

just Because I cant open My Fucking Mouth And Say What I Think

Thursday

Someone Save Me From a Horrible Time =-/

Dear. . . .

2006-09-27T04:11:25Z

Farmiliar Faces
Thoughts
Fears
Anxiety
All Blurred By a Bottle

The Comforts Found
In Every Sip
And
Every Hit
The Smoke Fills Your Lungs
Carrying You Further From The Truth
and
Closer to a False Sense of Security
Leaving You
Wishing For A Better Tomarrow
But
Settling for a Clouded Today
Causing You to
Loose Touch With Reality
Your Friends
And
Even Yourself

But

Thats Exactly What You Want. .

Chapter 4

2006-09-24T02:29:46Z

The Same Situation
The Same Feeling
The Same Line
The Same Reaction
The Same Reason

To

Realize My faults
Re-live My mistakes
Regret My Choices
Forget The Past

Or Do I

Accept The Truth
Shake Myself off
Learn from the Memories
Hightlight The Good
Scratch Out The Bad
Write the Final Words
Turn the page
and
Start A New Chapter

On This Book We Call Life. . .

0920

2006-09-20T15:17:19Z

I Can't Make up My Mind
I've Had This Thought In my Head for Quite Some Time Now. . .
Just Give Up
&
Go Back to What I was Comfortable with
But
With a New Outlook,
Thought Process
&
Possibly Distaste for The Very Things I used to Be

OR

Continue to Change
Finish what was Started
Forget the Past
Forget the People
Forget the Scene
Forget Everything I once Defined Myself By
&
Stat over new
Bringing With Me
Only Memories,
A Hand-full of Friends
&
High Hopes for a Better, Happier Life

I guess its all a Matter of How Much I want to Put Myself Out there Really. . .

Just My 2 cents

2006-09-12T23:32:54Z

Alright
So today was a very unique day
Yet
was Like any Other Day
I did all the Things that i now nomrally do
But
Different in the sense that I did something out of the Norm As Well
for Me Anyways
I was sitting in class reading My Book I cant seem to put down now
and
I kind of lost my thought process and started going off in other areas
I started reflecting about how much my "Norm" has changed over the past couple weeks
No More going to shows every Weekend
No More screwing Around at some kids house i just mett 5 minutes before they start taking shots
No more crazy storys to tell on monday about my weekend
No More Watchin People make choices that affect more than just them without any hesitation
Even though most of those things are now missing from my life, I can't say I miss any of it
I Think. no actually I know I found something better
Found a New group of Friends
that well
i've come to realized Im a lot happier with
O and I also Met a Girl
Shes Amazing
Everything a Guy Could Want
Gorgeous Eyes
Gorgeous Smile
Smart
So Sweet...well most of the time lol
Even Though it may seem that at times she makes me do things to Better Myself I'd rather not to
Secretly I think I i like it
It shows that she Actually Notices Things about me
as well as Cares
I guess im still adjusting to that
Im just so used to People constantly judging me and looking for anything to throw in my Face
and
I have to say its So Refreshing Having Her In My Life Now
Well thats basically whats been on my mind today in a nutshell